Kelly Bishop Reveals the Secrets Behind ‘Gilmore Girls’

Kelly Bishop is “having fun,” she tells The Daily Beast’s Obsessed on an August phone call. “Because I’m talking, and I’m famous for talking,” she quips. Bishop talks at the pace of a Gilmore Girl and has danced from stage to screen with grace.

On the seven-season WB drama—and its Netflix revival—Lorelai, Rory, and Emily Gilmore tell an intergenerational story fans return to for comfort autumn after autumn. The title of Bishop’s memoir was inspired by a teenage boy calling her “the third Gilmore girl” at a gas station. Naturally, her book includes recollections from those precious Gilmore Girls years–she still has the robe from Emily and Lorelai’s spa day!

In collaboration with writer Lindsay Harrison, the candid actor opens her story with turning 30 and approaching divorce. Bishop was on the threshold of a unique Broadway show at the time; with a group of fellow dancers, she recorded raw memories, hopes, and dreams on reel-to-reel tapes, forming the basis for A Chorus Line. She originated the role of Sheila in 1975 and won a Tony Award for her performance. Readers see the inspiration for Sheila unfold: Bishop’s real childhood, where “everything was beautiful at the ballet.”

Bishop earned a spot in Radio City Music Hall’s corps de ballet and has danced across stages in Las Vegas, on Broadway, and in the 1964 World’s Fair. As her acting career accelerates in the memoir, we meet her second husband, television host and ESPN pioneer Lee Leonard, who passed away in 2018. “He was thoughtful and attentive. He was honest, and fun, and wicked smart, and hardworking, and solid as a rock,” Bishop writes. Grief and vitality each have a place in her memoir. At 80, Bishop exudes a love for her craft and seamlessly leaps from one scene to the next as we discuss The Third Gilmore Girl.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

How did the idea come about to start your book with turning 30, this pivotal time of beginning A Chorus Line, before then moving into your early childhood?

I was really looking forward to 30. A lot of women have experienced this, and in my generation it would have been more prevalent, but being treated like a child, being called “dear,” which is the most annoying thing that anyone could do to me. I want to use a swear word. So turning 30, in my mind, at that point, was, “Now I’m a grown-up, and nobody can treat me like a child anymore.” I’d had a nice career as a dancer and a very successful one. It could have gone on if I had wanted it to. It came together so nicely that we started working on what was going to be A Chorus Line.

When I was watching a video of you winning the Tony for your role as Sheila, I couldn’t help but notice, as fabulous as you are, you pointed that achievement to your entire ensemble. This has been a theme in your career and the way you write about those you work with. Has that always come naturally to you?

Well, that’s the joy of it. One of the reasons I think I love the business so much, and I’ve been so grateful that I’ve been successful in it, is, I love meeting new people, working with new people, finding out about them, seeing what makes them tick, seeing what upsets them, giving them comfort, giving them a boost when they need it. [A Chorus Line] was an ensemble show. That’s really fun because it’s sort of like playing volleyball or something. You hit the ball, they hit it back, so it’s a team effort, and that’s something I’ve always, always enjoyed. That may well have come from dancing because most of the time when you dance, you are not solo. You’re dancing with other people, and you’re all trying to get the steps so they really look the same, and you’re trying very hard not to kick each other. So it’s kind of a natural evolution into acting, for me.

I love all of these moments in your book when there’s kismet and you really wish something would happen: having more time to be on set with a cast (Dirty Dancing) or getting to have another chance to be with your Gilmore Girls family (the revival). So what is your secret, Kelly, to having these little moments?

I’m very spiritual, there’s no question about that. I’m not religious, but I really feel like I’m blessed. I know what I want, or I know what the dream is, anyway, and I don’t expect dreams to come true, absolutely. First of all, [I’m] able to recognize the opportunity. I think a lot of people don’t. Then I do the pros and cons. I go right back to the instinct again, which was my first gut reaction. Then go for it. What I’m doing, which I always advise people to do, is, I follow my dream. I can’t fantasize too much about things that I want [or don’t want] and get into any detail, because I’m always wrong. I’m always disappointed. I’m great at fantasizing, but it can’t be about anything I truly want because I’ll blow it.

You write about dancing with Ed Hermann in the vow renewal episode of Gilmore Girls. What was it like for you when dance would find its way back into the script?

There’s some part of me that always does sort of dance. I do remember Amy Sherman-Palladino, when we were doing Bunheads and I was playing the dance teacher, I was questioning one thing about kind of going into a dance move, and she said, “Oh, come on. Fanny dances in the grocery store.” That’s kind of true, isn’t it? When I’m driving my car and listening to some good music, jazz or whatever it is, I’m practically jumping up and down in my seat. One foot is tapping one part of the tempo. My hand is tapping the other part of the tempo. It’s in me. That physical thing has been in my whole body for so long that it just doesn’t go away. I don’t do it as well as I used to.

Whenever Amy Sherman-Palladino would come to you and offer a chance to work with her again, it seems like it’s usually been a pretty easy yes to reunite with her creatively.

Any day, I will do her words. Any day, I will be around her. In fact, she has another show. You’ll enjoy this one. It’s called Étoile, French for star. It’s about two ballet companies, one in Paris and one in New York. There was this character that sounded like something that would be right for me. [Sherman-Palladino] has been so good to me and so generous and loyal that I don’t ever want to assume anything. I just said, “Is this something that I should pursue?” God love her, she wrote back, “I would love to have you play our Clara.” I went, “Oh, I just got myself a job.” It’s a couple of guest spots on this new show. I think it’s going to be very interesting.

You specifically discuss Emily and Lorelei’s trip to the spa on Gilmore Girls, “There’s the Rub.” Since you write so eloquently about Emily’s subtext of wanting to have a bond like Lorelai and Rory have, I’m wondering if creating this episode felt like a big shift to you in the moment, or had you already been developing an undercurrent to Emily in which she craves that deeper relationship with Lorelai?

I always do this with characters if I have the opportunity. Some of that was there, but having that exchange with [Lorelai] gave me even more information, and I thought, “Okay, this makes sense now.” It’s one of the few times where I started realizing how very vulnerable [Emily] really is, which is why she has that front, that smart, successful housewife with her husband and the DAR and that whole thing. That’s all a front. There’s a little glimpse into where Emily really is, what she really feels. Of course, it gave her a lot more humanity. Not that it would keep her from opening her mouth again, as we saw in those later ones, especially the DAR meeting. I just enjoyed doing that so much. It was ridiculous.

I love that Netflix gave you some of those opportunities to let Emily loose, and your character on Halston, as well. That was great.

I love that woman. The little bit I learned about [Eleanor Lambert], here she’s in this elegant world and loved the fashion, and that mouth of hers–I mean, really like a sailor. Great fun to play. I wish that she’d been in it more, but, boy, working with Ewan McGregor was just a joy. Not only a fabulous actor, but he’s a really good guy, doesn’t take himself that seriously, and he’s handsome. What could go wrong?

We also get some humorous life lessons in your book, like, “The adhesive used to apply pasties and the warm water of a hot tub are completely incompatible.” Who knew?

We wear pasties all the time, so it’s good to remember that.

You strike a great balance with some levity like that, and the ending is so inspirational. What is something that you’re especially excited for readers to learn about you with the Third Gilmore Girl?

One of the things I think that you could learn probably all the way through is, I always want to work. I love to work. Now, I find in my old age that it’s harder. Those long days are tiring, and I’m kind of staying away from stage [roles] because I just don’t think I can do eight shows a week with one day off. I just don’t think I’ve got the stamina for it. I have this very strong theory that if you love something that you’re doing, you’re probably good at it, and the reverse is true. If you can put those two things together—and I’ve been able to put those things together—then you have what I consider a successful life.

My friend who first introduced me to Gilmore Girls in college passed away last year. I know she would have been absolutely thrilled that I’m speaking with you. I’d love to hear a bit about the process of discussing grief and putting down your feelings about loved ones you’ve said goodbye to.

You had a wonderful friendship with a wonderful woman. It was shorter than you wanted it to be, it was shorter than she wanted it to be, but you had it. That’s the most important thing. I miss my husband every day, and I will miss him for the rest of my life, every day. I talk to him, I think about him, I talk about him, God knows. But I had it. He had to leave when he did, and I was happy for him. This helped with the grief process because he was struggling so. The body couldn’t keep the soul. In that way, I go, “I’m happy for him because now he’s free.” I’m not happy for me, because I miss him. We miss those people. That’s where the grief comes in. We can’t call them, but we can talk to them. I mumble all the time.

That is so sweet. Your husband was so lucky to have found you, and I’m sure he’ll be cheering you on with your book tour. I hope maybe the young man from the gas station who called you the “third Gilmore Girl” finds his way to your tour.

[Laughs] Yeah, it was so strange. They just kind of come out of no place. I accept them all. I have a lot of respect for people, and I don’t judge them. As long as they’re kind and they’re not cruel to people or animals, then they’ve got my vote.