Ah, Massachusetts—the land of Dunkin’ devotion, sports team obsession, and drivers who treat turn signals like state secrets. It’s got history, charm, and enough attitude to power a small nation, but if you haven’t aggressively complained about at least half of these things, are you even a real Masshole? Let’s park the car in Harvard Yard (or try to) and air our Bay State grievances, shall we?
People Mispronouncing “Worcester”
It’s WUH-stah, not “War-chester.” Say it wrong and we will judge you—out loud.
Traffic on the Mass Pike Making You Question Your Existence
Pro tip: if your GPS says 20 minutes, double it, swear a little, and still be late.
Tourists Asking Directions While Holding a Giant Map
“Just take a right where the old Papa Gino’s used to be—you can’t miss it.”
Winter That Lasts Until May, Then Instantly Turns Into Humidity Soup
There is no spring. Just black snow piles, then sunburn.
Dunkin’ Locations Being Too Close Together or Somehow Not Close Enough
“Why do we need 3 Dunkins on one street?”
“Because one might have a better drive-thru.”
The T Being Late for No Reason
It’s not broken. It’s just emotionally unavailable.
People Thinking Boston Is Massachusetts
There’s a whole state beyond the city, and it’s mostly angry people in fleece vests.
The Ongoing Feud Between North Shore and South Shore
You must pick a side. Even if you don’t know why. It’s the law.
The Way Everyone Thinks We’re Rude
We’re not rude—we’re just in a hurry and you’re standing in the wrong place.
Cape Traffic Turning a Two-Hour Trip Into a Five-Hour Test of Patience
Welcome to the Cape. Now enjoy half your vacation in bumper-to-bumper purgatory.
Everyone Assuming We’re Still Stuck in the Revolutionary War
Yes, we have cobblestones and history. No, we don’t churn our own butter.
The Red Sox Giving You Hope and Then Crushing Your Soul
It’s tradition. It’s pain. It’s home.
Sure, we Massholes love to complain—but that’s just our way of showing pride in our chaotic, charming, historically significant slice of New England. So go ahead, vent about the traffic, weather, or the cost of a lobster roll—but don’t you dare say Dunkin’ is overrated.
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