You’re Not Really From Florida Unless You’ve Complained About These 12 Things

Oh, Florida—the Sunshine State, where headlines read like satire, humidity qualifies as a personality trait, and gators in swimming pools barely make the local news. If you haven’t passionately complained about these uniquely Floridian annoyances, are you even a true Floridian? Grab your sunscreen and mosquito spray—it’s time to bond over our favorite state-wide grievances.

The Heat (and People Saying “It’s Not the Heat, It’s the Humidity!”)

Let’s be real: It’s both, and they’re conspiring to melt your soul.

Tourists Who Stop in the Middle of the Road for Photos

Nothing says “vacation” like causing a 12-car pile-up because a palm tree was photogenic.

Hurricane Panic Every Summer

Stocking up on water, plywood, and beer while the storm casually heads elsewhere.

Mosquitoes the Size of Small Aircraft

If mosquitoes had voting rights, they’d control the state by now.

People Asking if You’ve Met “Florida Man”

He’s not one guy—we’re all collectively Florida Man at this point.

The Seasonal Invasion of Snowbirds

Welcome back, seasonal neighbors—now please remember your blinkers and speed limits.

Lovebugs Trying to Ruin Your Car’s Paint Twice a Year

Florida’s official mascot: thousands of tiny bugs welded to your windshield.

Alligators Casually Wandering Through Neighborhoods

“No big deal, just another dinosaur blocking my driveway again.”

Constantly Explaining Disney World vs. Disneyland

We have Disney World. Disneyland is that little park out West. Stop mixing it up.

Random Afternoon Downpours That Last Exactly 15 Minutes

Forecast: 90 degrees, sunny, with a brief apocalypse at precisely 2:37 PM.

People Thinking Miami Is the Entire State

Florida isn’t just Miami, beaches, and clubs—we have swamps, theme parks, and questionable life decisions too!

Being Asked if You Can Actually Swim in Lakes Without Being Eaten

Sure you can. But is it really swimming if you’re constantly looking over your shoulder for predators?

Floridians may complain passionately about our quirky state, but deep down, we’d never trade the endless sunshine, chaotic wildlife, or the unmatched entertainment of watching tourists navigate our roads. Complaining is practically our love language—crazy headlines, hurricanes, humidity, and all.

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