You’re Not Really From Colorado Unless You’ve Complained About These 12 Things

Ah, Colorado—the land of majestic mountains, endless craft breweries, and people who casually summit 14ers before brunch. But let’s be honest: despite all the sunshine and outdoor bliss, Coloradans still find plenty to grumble about. If you haven’t griped about at least half these things, can you really call yourself a local?

Texans and Californians Moving In (And Immediately Complaining)

Welcome! Now kindly stop telling us how things are better “back home.”

Traffic on I-70 Every Single Weekend

It’s less a highway and more a parking lot with pretty mountain views.

Snow One Day, Shorts Weather the Next

Mother Nature here clearly has commitment issues.

Altitude Sickness Ruining Your Visitors’ Trips

“Drink water, don’t drink alcohol”—and yet they always do the opposite.

Out-of-Staters Mispronouncing “Buena Vista”

It’s “Byoona Vista,” not “Bwayna Vista”—get it right or face eternal judgment.

The Price of Ski Lift Tickets

When skiing costs roughly the same as a mortgage payment, something’s gone horribly wrong.

Having More Breweries Than Grocery Stores

Food is optional; craft beer, essential.

The Sudden Influx of Subarus at Every Trailhead

Is it even a hike if a Subaru isn’t parked sideways across two spots?

The Obsession with Green Chile

It’s delicious, yes—but did it really need to invade pizza, beer, and ice cream?

Housing Prices Rising Faster Than Your Elevation

Tiny bungalow, $900k, haunted, no bathroom—but hey, mountain views!

People Thinking Everyone Lives in Aspen

No, most of us live in Denver, Boulder, or literally anywhere we can still afford rent.

Denver International Airport Conspiracy Theories

Aliens, Illuminati, secret bunkers—can’t we just get our luggage faster?

Sure, we Coloradans might love to vent about these quirky frustrations, but we’d never trade our beloved mountains, unpredictable weather, and craft beer obsession. Complaining is practically our state sport—right behind skiing, hiking, and judging tourists’ footwear. After all, living here is still worth every ridiculous complaint.

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