You’re Not Really From Alabama Unless You’ve Complained About These 12 Things

Ah, Alabama—the land of football worship, humidity thicker than grandma’s gravy, and mosquitoes who’ve clearly signed a blood pact. Living here gives you the automatic right to gripe about certain things, and let’s be honest, you wouldn’t have it any other way. If you haven’t passionately complained about at least half of these issues, can you even call yourself a true Alabamian?

Humidity That Makes Your Hair Defy Physics

It’s not just humidity—it’s punishment from Mother Nature herself.

People Assuming Everyone Here Lives on a Farm

We’ve got cities, people—some of us haven’t touched a cow in years!

The Eternal Alabama vs. Auburn Debate

Even neutral parties get roped in—choose wisely or suffer social exile.

Mosquitoes That Could Lift a Small Child

If our mosquitoes teamed up, they’d carry us all away by now.

People From Outside Thinking We All Sound Like Forrest Gump

Spoiler: we don’t—but we can certainly spot the fakers.

Snow Panic at the Mere Mention of Flurries

Schools close, milk and bread vanish, and the state descends into chaos after two snowflakes.

The Annual Allergy Apocalypse

Yellow pollen coating everything like powdered sugar—if powdered sugar ruined your sinuses.

Road Construction That Never Ends

We’re pretty sure some projects started when Bear Bryant was coaching.

The Mystery of Sudden Traffic on I-65

One minute you’re cruising; the next, you’ve entered a vehicular Bermuda Triangle.

Sunday Liquor Laws

Because apparently, temptation clocks out one day a week.

Out-of-State Folks Who Can’t Handle Sweet Tea

“Can I get half unsweetened?” No, friend, that’s called blasphemy.

Being Asked If You’ve Married Your Cousin Yet

It’s tired, it’s old, and no—third cousins don’t count anyway.

Sure, we Alabamians might complain a bit (okay, a lot), but deep down we secretly cherish these quirks as our badge of honor. It’s all part of the charm, after all, and who doesn’t love a good collective gripe session to unite us in solidarity? Admit it—you wouldn’t trade this glorious mess for anything.

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