12 Surprising (and Completely True) Illinois Laws You’ve Never Heard Of

Illinois: the Land of Lincoln, deep-dish pizza, and—wait for it—a delightfully baffling set of laws that’ll leave you scratching your head harder than a Cubs fan watching playoff baseball. Behind the scenic farmland and bustling Chicago streets, Illinois has hidden legal quirks sure to make even Abe Lincoln raise a skeptical eyebrow. Grab your popcorn (but not while driving!), and enjoy these wonderfully wacky, absolutely true Illinois laws.

It’s Illegal to Give Pets Cigars

Thinking about celebrating your pup’s birthday with a cigar? Nope. Illinois strictly forbids giving lit cigars to pets—sorry, Spot.

You Can’t Fish While Sitting on a Giraffe’s Neck

Illinois explicitly bans fishing while atop a giraffe’s neck. Sorry, giraffe-anglers—your ambitions stop here.

Eating in a Burning Building is Forbidden in Chicago

If your apartment building is on fire in Chicago, you’re legally required to put down the sandwich and evacuate. Safety first—lunch second.

You Can’t Give Your Dog Whiskey

Dogs drinking whiskey are banned statewide. Save the bourbon for yourself—Sparky stays sober tonight.

No Mispronouncing “Joliet”

Mispronouncing Joliet (“Jolly-et”) is technically illegal within city limits. Pronunciation crimes? Joliet doesn’t mess around.

You Can’t Hang Obstructions from Your Rearview Mirror

In Illinois, those fuzzy dice or pine-scented trees dangling from mirrors could technically get you ticketed. Apparently, flair obstructs justice.

It’s Illegal to Fly Kites in Chicago’s City Limits

Chicago explicitly prohibits flying kites downtown. Windy City, indeed—but save kite-flying for somewhere less urban.

Roosters Can’t Crow Within 300 Feet of Residences in Kenilworth

Early-rising roosters, take note—Illinois demands silence near homes. Alarm clocks only, please.

In Normal, Making Funny Faces at Dogs is Illegal

Don’t even think about taunting the local pooches in Normal, Illinois. Funny faces are strictly forbidden. Serious expressions only.

You Cannot Feed Whiskey to Your Dogs in Chicago

Thinking of sharing that nightcap with Rover? Illinois law says absolutely not—doggie happy hour must remain dry.

It’s Illegal to Wear Saggy Pants in Collinsville

Saggy pants enthusiasts beware: pants hanging too low are technically banned in Collinsville. Pull ’em up, fashion rebels.

You Can’t Mispronounce “Joliet”

Joliet is so serious about correct pronunciation it appears twice on our list. Say it right—it’s “JOE-lee-ET,” or face locals’ wrath.

It’s Illegal to Give a Pet a Lighted Cigar

Illinois officially bans giving pets cigars—lit ones specifically. Unlit cigars? Apparently still fair game, but still, don’t push your luck.

There you have it—12 delightfully odd, totally true Illinois laws that keep the Prairie State weirdly entertaining. Whether it’s fishing from giraffe-back or banning whiskey-sipping pets, Illinois clearly knows how to legislate with a sense of humor (or at least accidental comedy). Stay strange, Illinois—and remember, no funny faces at the dogs!

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