You’re Not Really From Oregon Unless You’ve Complained About These 12 Things

Ah, Oregon—the land of lush forests, endless rain, and more flannel than a lumberjack convention. From hipster coffee shops to actual Bigfoot believers, Oregon is a beautiful, weird, slightly damp wonderland. But if you haven’t grumbled about these very specific Pacific Northwest problems—preferably while sipping a locally roasted, single-origin espresso—you might still be a Californian in denial.

Californians Moving In and Acting Like They Discovered Portland

Welcome to Oregon! Please stop driving like it’s the 405 and don’t ask where the In-N-Out is.

People Assuming It’s Always Raining

Okay, yes, it rains a lot. But we also get, like… three weeks of sunshine in July.

The Rain Not Bothering You Until It Suddenly Does

“Oh, I don’t even notice it anymore” —says every Oregonian, right before breaking down in January.

No One Knowing How to Pump Their Own Gas

We’ve had the luxury of full-service so long, some of us think gas caps are optional.

Tourists Who Think They Can Hike in Flip-Flops

This isn’t a casual stroll through Target. There will be mud, cliffs, and judgment.

Every Road Trip Being Delayed by a Herd of Cyclists

Oregon’s unofficial motto: “Share the road, and also your entire afternoon.”

Out-of-Towners Not Understanding the Obsession with Marionberries

It’s not just a berry. It’s our jam. Literally and spiritually.

Portland Traffic That Makes You Rethink All Life Choices

It’s not L.A. bad—but it wants to be. And that’s worse.

Wildfires Replacing the Rain as the New Seasonal Menace

If it’s not soggy, it’s smoky. There is no in-between.

The Passive-Aggressive War Between Ducks and Beavers Fans

It’s civil war every football season, and even your grandma picks a side.

The Cost of Living in Portland Being… a Personal Attack

$2,000 a month for a studio with “exposed pipes” and a “view of the dumpster”? Sign here.

Everyone Outside the State Thinking It’s All Portland

We’ve got beaches, deserts, and towns that haven’t heard of kombucha. Imagine that.

Sure, we Oregonians love to complain—about the rain, the transplants, and the coffee snobs who say “notes of stone fruit” with a straight face—but deep down, we adore our moody, mossy, mountain-laced home. Complaining here isn’t negativity—it’s just part of the climate.

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