We Know You’re Not From Florida If You Mispronounce These 12 Names

Florida isn’t just sunshine, sinkholes, and news headlines that make you question humanity—it’s also home to some of the most deceptively pronounced place names in the South. Between Spanish roots, Seminole origins, and whatever the panhandle is doing, there’s a good chance you’ll mangle something before you even hit the beach. So before you embarrass yourself asking for directions to “Kissimmee” like it’s a flirty invitation, let’s walk through the linguistic swamp together.

1. Kissimmee (Kuh-SIM-mee, not Kiss-a-me)

It’s a city, not a dating app. Calm down.

2. Miami (My-AM-ee, not My-uh-muh)

Yes, some locals say it lazy. No, you’re not allowed to unless you’re from Dade County.

3. Ocala (Oh-KAL-uh, not Oak-ah-lah)

It’s horse country, not a Tolkien village.

4. Apalachicola (Ap-uh-lach-uh-CO-luh, not Apple-choke-a-latte)

Bonus points if you don’t need a deep breath to finish saying it.

5. Micanopy (Mick-a-NO-pee, not Mike-an-ope)

It’s not a disease. It’s a charming little town. Chill.

6. Tallahassee (Tal-uh-HAS-see, not Tally-hay-see)

Home of the capital, and also home to 14 different ways tourists get it wrong.

7. Alachua (Uh-LATCH-you-uh, not Al-a-choo-ah)

Sounds like a sneeze. Isn’t.

8. Wewahitchka (Wee-wuh-HITCH-kuh, not Wee-wa-what-now)

If you can pronounce it, congratulations—you’re either from there or very, very committed to impressing someone who is.

9. Interlachen (In-ter-LOCK-en, not Inter-lay-chen)

Sounds like a Florida theme park for German tourists. Isn’t.

10. Hialeah (High-uh-LEE-uh, not Hill-a-hey)

You’ll hear five languages being spoken there—and none of them will tolerate your pronunciation.

11. Loxahatchee (Lock-suh-HATCH-ee, not Loxa-hat-chay)

Yes, it’s a mouthful. Yes, it involves swamp creatures.

12. Chattahoochee (Chat-uh-HOO-chee, not Chatta-hoo-shay)

Alan Jackson made it famous, and your mispronunciation makes him cry a little inside.

So, how’d you do? If you nailed these, you’re either a local or you’ve been driving I-75 long enough to lose your sanity and gain regional fluency. If not, no worries—we’ll still let you order Publix subs and cheer for the Gators, Seminoles, or whatever team your uncle’s fighting about at Thanksgiving. Just maybe let someone else handle the GPS voice.

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