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Virginia is where the Civil War never really ended (at least in roadside reenactments), the weather has commitment issues, and the barbecue line is drawn somewhere between a vinegar bottle and a dry rub. From the mountains of Appalachia to the humidity vortex of Tidewater, Virginians have their own way of talking—equal parts Southern charm, colonial pride, and traffic-induced rage. If you’ve ever defended both sweet tea and your right to snow panic at half an inch, welcome home.
1. “You from NoVa or Real Virginia?”
Because Northern Virginia is basically Washington D.C. with a Target, and the rest of the state has opinions about it.
2. “It’s a 2-hour drive… unless you hit 95.”
Then it’s a soul-crushing journey through the 10th circle of hell, otherwise known as Stafford County at 5 p.m.
3. “That’s not barbecue, that’s grilled.”
Barbecue is smoked low and slow. If it came off your Weber in 20 minutes, it’s just meat.
4. “You goin’ to the Apple Blossom Festival?”
Translation: Are you ready for the most extra parade in a small town since high school homecoming?
5. “It’s humid, but not Tidewater humid.”
Once you’ve sweated through your clothes just by stepping outside in July, you’ll understand.
6. “We got four seasons—in a week.”
Monday is spring, Tuesday is summer, Wednesday is a nor’easter, and by Friday you’re wearing flip-flops again.
7. “It’s a Coke. What kind? Sprite.”
All sodas are “Coke” until specified otherwise. Don’t ask why. Just accept it.
8. “Bless your heart, you used unsalted butter.”
A polite way of saying your casserole was an abomination.
9. “You ever been stuck in the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel?”
Everyone has. Time ceases to exist there. Send snacks.
10. “You better have your EZ-Pass.”
Because tolls pop up in Virginia like potholes after a snowstorm.
11. “This here’s Jefferson country.”
Said before quoting something vaguely patriotic and buying artisanal bourbon.
12. “Go Hokies! Wait—Go Hoos! Wait—nevermind.”
Virginia sports loyalty is fierce, irrational, and will 100% ruin Thanksgiving if handled poorly.
If you read these while sipping a Bojangles sweet tea and waiting for VDOT to clear whatever that mess is on 64, congrats—you’re officially Virginian. If not, spend some time dodging deer in the Shenandoah, sitting in NoVa traffic, and pretending not to notice ghosts in Colonial Williamsburg. You’ll be speakin’ Old Dominion in no time, y’all.
The post 12 Phrases You’ll Only Understand If You Live in Virginia appeared first on When In Your State.