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Arizona isn’t just a state—it’s a whole mood, baked under a broiler and dusted with sarcasm. Out here, we don’t sweat the small stuff—we just sweat, period. And if you’ve survived a summer without becoming a puddle or made peace with rattlesnakes on your porch, you probably know these phrases like the back of your sunburned hand.
1. “It’s a dry heat.”
The official state excuse for why it’s okay to be slowly roasted alive.
2. “Snowbirds are back.”
Brace yourself: the golf carts, RVs, and New York plates are descending like a seasonal migration.
3. “I could really use a haboob right now.”
Only in Arizona do we beg for a giant wall of dust because it might drop the temperature 3 degrees.
4. “Don’t touch the steering wheel!”
An urgent summertime PSA. It’s basically a branding iron.
5. “Up north.”
Magically means pine trees, cooler weather, and maybe a glimpse of snow. AKA: Not Phoenix.
6. “Watch out for javelinas.”
No, they’re not cute. Yes, they’ll eat your trash and your ankles.
7. “We don’t do daylight savings.”
Because 118°F at 6 p.m. is quite enough, thank you very much.
8. “Monsoon’s coming.”
Cue dramatic clouds, sideways rain, and at least one trampoline flying through the air.
9. “I had to kill a scorpion in my shoe.”
Said casually over breakfast like it’s no big deal. Because it isn’t.
10. “Flip-flops are formal wear.”
Weddings, graduations, court—if the straps are leather, you’re dressed up.
11. “Drive careful, it’s only 115 today.”
Yes, that’s considered “cooling off.” No, we’re not kidding.
12. “California plates? They’ll leave in August.”
A seasonal observation. Like birdwatching, but with Teslas and a lot more complaining.
If these phrases made perfect sense, congrats—you’ve been sun-baked into a true Arizonan. If not, hang out for one summer and you’ll be using them like second nature… possibly while hiding under a saguaro and questioning your life choices. Welcome to the desert, partner.
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