11 Subtle Ways to Instantly Annoy Someone from Colorado

Colorado, where every third person is a part-time rock climber, the altitude is high but the hiking shorts are higher, and people talk about snowpack levels like it’s the weather version of fantasy football. Coloradans are fiercely proud of their mountain life, their beer scene, and their ability to own 12 Patagonia fleeces without irony. But if you’re looking to test the limits of their laid-back-but-mildly-superior patience, here are 11 subtle ways to mildly annoy someone from the Centennial State.

Say, “So like, you’re from California, right?”

Absolutely not. They moved here and drove up the rent. There’s a difference.

Complain about being out of breath after walking up stairs.

That’s just altitude humbling you. Coloradans will casually summit a 14er while you’re still wheezing at Chipotle.

Call it “Colo-ROD-oh.”

It’s “Colo-RAD-o.” And yes, they will correct you without blinking.

Ask if it’s just snow and ski resorts.

There’s also rafting, rock climbing, biking, hiking, hot springs, and talking about all those things in great detail.

Say weed is the only reason to visit.

Cool. Now get off their trail and stop littering, Chad.

Mention how much better the beaches are back home.

You can’t ski or backpack to a glacier from a beach. Checkmate.

Question why they drink craft beer with a beard and a headlamp on.

Because it’s IPA season, it’s 9 p.m., and they just got back from night skiing.

Say “Denver is basically Kansas.”

No. Denver is where the plains watch the mountains. There’s a difference, and it’s 5,280 feet of attitude.

Complain that it snowed, then got sunny, then snowed again.

That’s not bad weather. That’s character development.

Mock the phrase “14er.”

That’s not a number. That’s a mountain that judged your cardio and found you lacking.

Say you’re more of an “indoor person.”

That’s nice. Now hold this granola bar while they plan your forced enlightenment via trail.

Still, Coloradans are friendly, outdoorsy, and only slightly smug about their high-altitude lifestyle. Just don’t litter, don’t act surprised when it snows in May, and don’t compare their mountains to hills back East—and you’ll be just fine. Especially if you bring good beer and can fake enthusiasm for microclimates.

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