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Florida, America’s sun-drenched wildcard, where the weather is lawless, the headlines are legendary, and flip-flops are considered formalwear. Floridians live in a subtropical fever dream of gators, theme parks, and hurricanes with names they say like old frenemies. But behind the sunshine and sunglasses is a state that’s fiercely proud of its chaos. If you’re looking to poke the panhandle bear (or possibly an alligator), here are 11 subtle ways to mildly annoy someone from the Sunshine State.
Say “Oh, you’re from Florida? Which Disney park do you work at?”
There’s more to Florida than Mickey Mouse and overpriced churros, thank you.
Call it a retirement home with beaches.
Cute. Now watch a 72-year-old pass you on a jet ski with a parrot on his shoulder.
Complain about the heat.
That’s not heat. That’s Florida’s warm embrace. And it lasts 11.5 months a year.
Ask if they’re worried about gators.
Only when they show up in pools, golf courses, and Taco Bell parking lots.
Say, “Wow, it rains every day!”
Yes. For 14 minutes. Then it’s sunny again. Get with the program.
Refer to Florida Man like it’s not a lifestyle.
They know him. They are him. And they’re proud of it.
Say Publix is “just a grocery store.”
Publix is a community center with the world’s greatest chicken tender sub. Show some respect.
Assume everyone’s from Miami.
Try again. There’s also Tampa, Jacksonville, the real Florida (a.k.a. the panhandle), and 1,200 more cities with wildly different vibes.
Mock their hurricane prep routine.
That “hurricane party” has a full generator, stocked coolers, and more planning than your wedding.
Be shocked they have swamps.
Swamps are ecosystems. Also tourist traps. Also someone’s backyard. It’s complicated.
Say “Florida isn’t really the South.”
Oh, it is. It’s just a sunburned, bilingual, gator-infested, pastel-colored version of it.
Still, Floridians are friendly, weird in the best way, and always down for a beach day—no matter the forecast. Just don’t insult their Cuban sandwiches, don’t make eye contact with the guy wearing cowboy boots and a parrot, and for the love of sunscreen, never underestimate the humidity.
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