Maryland, where the crabs are sacred, the flag is loud, and Old Bay is basically its own food group. Nestled between the North and the South (and low-key judging both), Marylanders are fiercely loyal, oddly passionate about highways, and always ready to remind you that yes, they do, in fact, have the best blue crabs on the planet. If you’re feeling brave enough to ruffle some Chesapeake feathers, here are 11 subtle ways to mildly annoy someone from the Old Line State.
Say, “Crabs are crabs, right?”
NO. They are not. Maryland blue crabs > everything else. Forever.
Call Old Bay “just seasoned salt.”
That’s not seasoning. That’s a lifestyle choice.
Ask if Baltimore is the only city.
Not even close. But thanks for showing your ignorance so early.
Confuse it with Massachusetts.
One’s full of chowder. The other’s full of crabcakes and rage now.
Pronounce “Baltimore” like it has three full syllables.
It’s Bawl-mer. Or Bal’more. Definitely not “Bal-ti-more.”
Complain about the flag being “too busy.”
Busy? It’s glorious chaos. Put it on your shirt, shorts, and shower curtain.
Ask what the big deal is about Route 50.
That road connects heaven (the Bay Bridge) to purgatory (DC traffic).
Mock the idea of putting Old Bay on popcorn.
And fries. And pizza. And corn. And your mistakes.
Say, “I thought that was in Virginia.”
Don’t. Just… don’t.
Act surprised that Maryland has beaches.
Ocean City isn’t just a place—it’s a summer state of mind.
Say Wawa and Royal Farms are the same.
They’re not. And if you don’t understand RoFo chicken, you will—eventually.
Still, Marylanders are a resilient, proud, and delightfully crabby bunch. Just don’t insult their seafood, their driving (even if it’s justified), or their strange regional identity crisis. Smile, nod, and bring some Old Bay to the cookout—and you might get a crack at a crab leg.
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