If These 10 Things Make Sense to You, You’ve Been in New York Far Too Long

New York, where “I’m walkin’ here!” is both a cliché and a lifestyle, the pizza slice is sacred, and sarcasm is our native dialect. It’s a state of sharp elbows, strong coffee, and regional feuds so intense they’d make the Romans blush. If these ten things sound perfectly normal to you, congrats—you’ve been in New York far too long, and you’re probably already late for something.

You’ve used “upstate” to describe anywhere that isn’t NYC—even if it’s technically still south.

Albany? Upstate. Buffalo? Upstate. Yonkers? Eh, depends who you ask.

You’ve argued about bagels, pizza, or sandwiches like your life depended on it.

Because it does. Everything else is bread with a superiority complex.

You’ve learned to power-walk through crowds like a caffeinated ninja.

Bonus points if you’ve shouted “EXCUSE ME” without breaking stride.

You’ve had a passionate opinion about a deli you’ve never actually been to.

“Sal’s is overrated. I’ve never eaten there, but I just know.”

You’ve paid $3,000 a month for an apartment the size of a closet and felt lucky.

What’s a kitchen? Oh, you mean the corner where your toaster and shampoo live.

You’ve experienced every season in one day.

Hoodie in the morning, tank top by lunch, parka at night. Welcome to April.

You’ve witnessed a full-blown subway performance at 8 a.m. and didn’t even look up.

Juggling fire? Opera singing? Breakdancing grandma? Eh. Seen it.

You’ve used “the city” to mean Manhattan—even if you live five hours away.

Because if it ain’t the city, what is it?

You’ve been personally offended by pineapple on pizza.

And if someone mentions “Chicago deep dish,” you switch to DEFCON 1.

You’ve perfected the art of being friendly and deeply annoyed at the same time.

“Have a nice day!” = “I hope you trip… lightly.”

If you read this while sipping a bodega coffee, dodging a tourist, and mumbling about rent prices, then congrats—New York has fully claimed you. Whether you’re from the city, the Catskills, or somewhere along the Thruway, you’ve earned your stripes in sass, hustle, and weather-related trauma. Just remember: in New York, you’re not rude—you’re efficient.

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