If These 10 Things Make Sense to You, You’ve Been in Michigan Far Too Long

Michigan, where you use your hand as a map, pop is a drink not a sound, and winter tires are a survival tool. It’s a state where people go “up north” without explaining where that is, and you’ll find more people wearing Carhartt than suits. If these ten things feel like second nature, congrats—you’ve been in Michigan far too long, and you’re probably still brushing salt off your car.

You’ve used your left hand to show someone where you live.

Bonus points if you also flipped it over to show the Upper Peninsula. Respect the mitten.

You call it “pop” and will absolutely fight someone who says “soda.”

It’s not up for debate. It’s pop. End of story.

You’ve said “going up north” and assumed everyone knew exactly what you meant.

It’s vague, it’s unspecific, and somehow everyone still gets it.

You’ve experienced all four seasons in one day—and dressed accordingly.

Hoodie in the morning, flip-flops by lunch, snow boots by dinner. Just Michigan things.

You measure distance in hours, not miles.

“It’s about 3 hours” could mean 90 miles or 300. No one knows.

You’ve been personally victimized by potholes.

Your suspension cries in Pure Michigan.

You know “the lakes” means the Great Lakes—not some random pond.

And yes, they are unsalted and shark-free, thank you very much.

You treat the first 40-degree day of spring like it’s summer.

Out come the shorts, the grills, and the irrational optimism.

You have strong opinions about Coney dogs, even if you live nowhere near Detroit.

And if someone says Lafayette or American is better, you have thoughts.

You know there’s a major cultural divide between the Upper and Lower Peninsulas—and both sides are proud of it.

Trolls live below the bridge. Yoopers live above it. And both have snowmobiles.

If you read this list and heard it in your head with a Midwest accent, it’s official—you’ve gone full Michigan. From the Big House to the big lakes, you know what it means to scrape your windshield with a loyalty card and still show up five minutes early. Now go grab a Vernors, hop in your rusty truck, and take a scenic drive—just watch out for deer and construction.

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