If These 10 Things Make Sense to You, You’ve Been in Massachusetts Far Too Long

Massachusetts, where the Rs vanish, the winters are unforgiving, and Dunkin’ is basically a state religion. It’s a place where the roads make no sense, the sports opinions are loud, and you will throw hands over chowder. If these ten things feel like everyday facts of life, you’ve been in Massachusetts far too long—and you’ve probably got a snow shovel in your trunk… year-round.

You pronounce “Worcester” as “Wuh-stah” without thinking twice.

And laugh while watching tourists try to sound it out phonetically.

You consider Dunkin’ not just a coffee shop, but a personality trait.

One on every corner, and somehow you still have a “favorite one.”

You’ve yelled “Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd” ironically… but also unironically.

It’s both a joke and a sacred rite of passage.

You’ve had at least one emotional breakdown on a rotary.

Merging is chaos, blinker use is optional, and no one’s getting out alive.

You have an unhealthy emotional attachment to Tom Brady—no matter where he is now.

We may have let him go, but we never stopped loving him.

You’ve defended New England clam chowder like it’s a family member.

And if someone offers you the red kind? That’s a fight.

You say you’re “going to the Cape” and everyone knows exactly what you mean.

Doesn’t matter which town—it’s the Cape, and that’s all that matters.

You’ve planned your entire day around avoiding the Mass Pike or 128 traffic.

Because “it’s only 10 miles” means absolutely nothing in this state.

You treat snowstorms as mild inconveniences until it hits three feet.

Then you break out the folding chair and claim your parking spot like a civilized citizen.

You’ve used “wicked” to describe something both amazing and terrible.

“Wicked cold,” “wicked good,” “wicked traffic”—one word, infinite Massachusetts flavor.

If you found yourself grinning and saying “yup” at least five times, then face it—you’re officially one of us. Whether you’re from the South Shore, North Shore, or anywhere in between, you know the joy of fall foliage, the rage of Fenway parking, and the eternal quest for the perfect lobster roll. Now grab a large regular from Dunks and keep being wicked awesome.

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