14 Strange (But True) Laws You’ll Only Hear About in Texas

Everything’s bigger in Texas—including the weird laws. The Lone Star State may be famous for brisket, boots, and “Don’t mess with Texas” energy, but it’s also got a legal code that swings from cowboy logic to straight-up confusion. Whether you’re protecting your pickles, walking your ostrich, or holding a marriage ceremony in a public hot tub (spoiler: don’t), these are the wildest, most wonderfully Texan laws you’ll only find in the great state of Texas.

1. You Can Legally Marry Someone By Saying It Out Loud Three Times

Under common law, if two people agree they’re married, refer to each other as spouses, and do it publicly—boom, you’re legally hitched. No rings, no wedding cake, just vibes.

2. It’s Illegal to Sell Your Eye

You can donate it, sure—but if you try to put your peeper on Craigslist for cash, Texas says “eye caramba, that’s a felony.”

3. Don’t Let Your Ostrich Roam Without a Leash in Austin

City codes in Austin treat ostriches like any other pet. So if your bird bolts down South Congress? That’s a citation, partner.

4. You Can’t Eat Your Neighbor’s Garbage Without Permission

Whether you’re dumpster diving for fun or fine dining, if it’s your neighbor’s trash—it’s trespassing. Ask first. Seriously.

5. You Can Be Fined for Shooting a Buffalo From a Second-Story Hotel Window

Apparently this was the thing in the Old West. Now, if you’re in a two-story La Quinta aiming at wildlife, expect a visit from the sheriff.

6. It’s Illegal to Milk Someone Else’s Cow

Rustle cattle? That’s theft. Milk them? That’s weird theft. Texas doesn’t care if you were just helping out—hands off Bessie.

7. You Must Have Windshield Wipers on Your Car—But a Windshield Is Optional

Your car doesn’t need glass, but it does need wipers. Priorities, y’all.

8. It’s a Crime to Own More Than Six Dildos

Yes, this was once an actual Texas law. “Obscene devices” were limited to six per household. You don’t want to know how they counted.

9. Don’t Take More Than Three Sips of Beer While Standing in San Antonio

A holdover from old drinking laws means technically, you can’t down a cold one on your feet. Cheers—now sit.

10. It’s Illegal to Shoot a Buffalo From a Third-Floor Courthouse (In Clarendon)

Texas really had a buffalo problem. And a courthouse problem. And possibly a judgment problem.

11. No Feather Dusters Allowed in Public Buildings

At one time, these were banned in some public offices over concerns they were being used to conceal weapons—or dust up trouble.

12. You Can’t Use the State Seal in an Ad Without Permission

Want to slap the Texas star on your BBQ sauce label? Not without government approval. Texas protects its brand like a true business mogul.

13. It’s Illegal to Let Your Camel Roam Downtown Waco Unattended

Yes, camels. Apparently someone’s dromedary drama led to this rule. Now you need a camel buddy system.

14. You May Not Drink More Than Three Sips of Beer at a Time While Standing (Still on the Books)

So if you’re at a honky-tonk and chugging while vertical—you’ve gone rogue. Sit down or risk the wrath of outdated alcohol laws.

Texas may be proud, loud, and independent—but its laws are just as colorful as its sunsets and just as unpredictable as its weather. Whether you’re walking your ostrich, dodging buffalo bullets, or counting your “adult novelty devices,” remember: in Texas, everything’s legal… until it’s very much not.

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