Missouri: the Show-Me State—where you’re free to fish, float, and barbecue to your heart’s content… as long as you don’t honk someone else’s horn or worry a squirrel. While the state is known for its iconic arch, riverside charm, and fierce allegiance to both Cardinals and Royals, its law books are packed with head-scratching gems that make you wonder: what exactly were y’all trying to prevent?
1. It’s Illegal to Worry a Squirrel in Missouri
Yes, that’s the actual wording: “worrying” a squirrel is against the law. If your goal is to startle, annoy, or emotionally stress a woodland critter—Missouri says back off.
2. Honking Someone Else’s Horn is Prohibited in University City
Reaching into another car to lay on the horn? Illegal. Even if they really deserve it.
3. You Can’t Drive with an Uncaged Bear in the Front Seat
Because nothing says, “bad idea” like a free-range grizzly riding shotgun. In Missouri, bears need to ride responsibly.
4. It’s Illegal to Throw Hard Objects at Parade Floats
Confetti? Fine. Bricks, frozen candy canes, or that one stubborn pickle jar? Definitely not.
5. You May Not Open a Garage Sale Without a Permit in St. Louis
Trying to offload Aunt Patty’s porcelain clown collection? Better get licensed. Spontaneous sidewalk commerce is a no-go.
6. It’s a Misdemeanor to Keep a Refrigerator on Your Porch in Columbia
Nothing screams “classy” like porch appliances. Columbia disagrees—and backs it up with a fine.
7. In Purdy, Dancing is Strictly Regulated (Think Footloose, but More Baptist)
The town of Purdy banned public dancing altogether unless approved by the city council. Kevin Bacon is not welcome here.
8. You May Not Keep a Horse in a Bathtub
It’s unclear who bathed their horse indoors, but Missouri made sure it never happens again. Horse hygiene is now an outdoor activity.
9. Don’t Invite More Than 8 People to a House Without a Special Permit in Some Cities
Throw a party, and suddenly it’s a code violation. In Missouri, nine friends = borderline criminal activity.
10. Clotheslines Are Banned in Some HOAs—But Only if They’re Visible From the Street
Dry your laundry in peace… as long as no one sees your socks. The public must never glimpse your flannel unmentionables.
11. It’s Illegal to Scare a Baby (On Purpose)
Startling infants for laughs could legally land you in hot water. Missouri doesn’t mess around with tiny emotions.
12. Tying a Giraffe to a Telephone Pole is Illegal in Some Municipal Codes
You’d think this was obvious, but apparently someone tried. Missouri said: “Not again.”
13. It’s Against the Law to Install a Bathtub Outdoors Without City Approval
Outdoor soak sessions are not a free-for-all. Rubber duckies must be kept behind closed doors—or zoning permits.
14. In Some Counties, It’s Illegal to Sing Off-Key
Yes—bad singing has consequences. Off-pitch warbling in public could be considered disorderly conduct. Pitch perfect, or pay up.
So if you’re heading to Missouri, enjoy the blues, barbecue, and riverfront views—but keep your bears caged, your squirrels unbothered, and your solo performances very well-tuned. In the Show-Me State, they’ve seen it all—and made laws to prevent it from happening again.
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