You’re Not Really From West Virginia Unless You’ve Complained About These 12 Things

Ah, West Virginia—the Mountain State, where the hills roll, the hollers echo, and everyone has a strong opinion about pepperoni rolls and how to pronounce “Appalachia” (it’s Appa-LATCH-uh, thank you very much). From coal mines to college football, life here is steeped in tradition, pride, and a whole lot of “we may gripe, but we’ll fight you if you do.” If you haven’t lovingly complained about these West Virginia quirks—probably while driving through fog thicker than gravy—you might be from Ohio. And we’ve got opinions about that, too.

People Thinking It’s Just the Western Part of Virginia

We’ve been our own state since 1863. Try telling us otherwise and see how fast we break out the state constitution and a banjo.

The Internet Being Slower Than Molasses in January

High-speed? Where? Not in this hollow. Hope you like buffering.

The Roads That Look Like a Roller Coaster Designed by a Drunk Cartographer

Curvy, steep, and with surprise potholes that’ll rattle your fillings.

Outsiders Making Coal Jokes

Yes, coal shaped this place. Yes, we know. No, we don’t want to hear your 10th joke about soot.

The Weather Going from Blizzard to Sunburn in 24 Hours

You’ll need a parka, shorts, and a canoe—just in case.

Having to Drive 45 Minutes to Get Anywhere

That’s just how it is. If you say something is “close by,” you mean within an hour.

People Assuming Everyone Here Lives in a Cabin and Makes Moonshine

We do not all make moonshine. We just know a guy who does. And it’s excellent.

Pepperoni Rolls Outside the State Being a Sad Disgrace

If it came with marinara sauce, it’s not a pepperoni roll—it’s a crime.

Everyone Leaving the State… and Then Coming Right Back

You’ll say you’re moving to Charlotte or Columbus. Then three years later, you’re right back in line at Tudor’s Biscuit World.

The Annual Allergy Apocalypse Every Spring

When the mountains bloom, so do your sinuses. Godspeed.

The Endless Debate Over Whether You’re Southern, Appalachian, or Midwestern

The correct answer is: yes.

People Acting Like We’re All Characters from a Bad Netflix Show

We’ve got culture, grit, and PhDs in this state. And probably one cousin who does hunt with a crossbow. Balance.

Sure, we West Virginians love to complain—about the roads, the stereotypes, and that one neighbor who still hasn’t fixed his porch light—but it all comes from deep mountain-rooted love. Complaining here is a form of poetry, usually set to a fiddle and delivered with pride. We might gripe about it, but heaven help the outsider who does.

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