17 Hilarious Sayings You’ll Only Hear in Colorado

Colorado—the land of towering peaks, endless trails, and enough craft beer to keep you hopping. But it’s not just the views that make this state unique, it’s the way the locals talk. From skiing in the winter to hiking in the summer, here are 17 hilarious sayings you’ll only hear in Colorado. So, grab your jacket (or your sunscreen, depending on the hour) and let’s dive into these Colorado classics.

“I’m just here for the 14ers.”

Translation: If it’s not a mountain over 14,000 feet, don’t bother—locals love their high peaks!

“Like a snowstorm in April.”

Translation: Classic Colorado weather—it’s always a surprise, even when it’s supposed to be spring.

“Don’t Colorado my Colorado.”

Translation: Don’t mess with my perfect little slice of mountain paradise—this place is just fine the way it is.

“It’s not the altitude, it’s the attitude.”

Translation: The higher you go, the more you’ve got to adjust—physically and mentally. And trust us, Coloradans have it dialed in.

“You’ve got to be higher than a kite to believe that.”

Translation: A little joke about our state’s famous pastime—let’s just say it’s not a secret.

“It’s as dry as a desert in a snowstorm.”

Translation: When something’s just ridiculously dry—like a typical Colorado winter, where the snow never quite sticks around.

“That’s more twisted than a ski lift.”

Translation: Something’s really complicated or confusing—kind of like trying to figure out the lines at the base of the mountain on a busy weekend.

“I’m just trying to find my inner zen… and some Wi-Fi.”

Translation: Balancing the peacefulness of Colorado’s outdoors with the harsh realities of modern life.

“This place is more crowded than a brewery on a Saturday afternoon.”

Translation: When something’s packed, like the local brewpubs, especially after a hike.

“It’s not a hike, it’s a ‘thruhike.’”

Translation: Coloradans don’t just take short walks—they commit to long, intense trails. A true test of endurance.

“Colder than a polar bear’s toenails.”

Translation: When the chill hits—whether it’s a winter morning or an unexpected breeze in the mountains.

“Like a thunderstorm in the mountains.”

Translation: Sudden, dramatic, and totally unexpected—just like the weather here.

“It’s always five o’clock somewhere—especially at the trailhead.”

Translation: A reminder that post-hike beers are as much a Colorado tradition as the hike itself.

“You can’t swing a snowboard without hitting someone in Colorado.”

Translation: The snowboarding and skiing culture here is so huge, it feels like everyone’s on the slopes.

“That’s like trying to park in downtown Denver.”

Translation: Something nearly impossible—finding a parking spot in the city can be as tough as finding a needle in a haystack.

“The only thing more expensive than rent is the parking ticket.”

Translation: True for many cities in Colorado, especially when it comes to Denver—those tickets sting!

“It’s like trying to keep your Colorado tan.”

Translation: Getting that perfect sun-kissed glow while surrounded by mountains and snow—it’s a delicate balance.

There you go—Colorado in all its snowy, sunny, and slightly confused glory. Whether you’re heading up a mountain or just trying to find parking downtown, these sayings will help you speak the language of the locals. So, get out there, enjoy the sunshine, and maybe grab a craft beer while you’re at it. You’ve got this—just don’t forget your sunscreen, a jacket, and a good attitude!

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